What the internet gave the Kerala man (apart from porn)[1]-
jobless and PMSy, the mindless
facebooking of a bored summer afternoon led me to click the link that would
plunge me into a pit of depression and self loathing. Expecting an attempted
humorous analysis of the cultural and social impacts of the internet in Kerala,
I begin reading the long, fairly normal looking blog post. Matrilineal society,
patriarchy, decent and modern said with bunny ears in the air (double quotes,
for the layman)……I skim through the first paragraphs, wondering where the part
about the internet was.
Enter TV presenter
and actress, Ranjini Haridas. A 30-something presenter who wildly successfully
anchored a reality talent show for six years on Asianet, a Malayalam TV
channel. Haridas is possibly little known outside
Kerala. And so is the hate that she inspires1.
Interest piqued now, I read further, curious about what this
blogger had to say about the controversial Malayali anchor I had strained my
vocal chords defending in discussions with friends some years ago.
She was a stark contrast to the Malayalee TV presenter that
bored the hell out of viewers till then. These women wore a look of innocence,
a certain... freshness one associates with the "untouched". Her
makeup was traditional with pink (ish) lipstick, and kohl-lined eyes, made up
and yet not so much that it would make an impact. Her hair was tucked away in
demure braids, or a little bun at the nape of the neck, and imprisoned in
jasmine. She didn't use her hands much, and smiled idiotically a lot. She was a
vision, a girl-you-gawk-at-in-a-temple vision. Beautiful, efficient and
tameable; completely devoid of impact, a threat to none of the men who ogled
and aspirational for none of the women these men lived with. If a channel was targeting a younger crowd, you'd find young
women dressed in jeans and a perfectly unremarkable top, with requisite hair
and make up, and personality that was even more unremarkable than the T shirt.
Usually, there was a guy who co-hosted and hogged all air time1.
I chuckle at the writer’s candid
observation, and note with slight interest its similarity to the comments I
often make about such women on TV.
You see, us Malayalee women look down on those
who wear make up, although secretly we wished we could carry it off too. We
think we are natural beauties and to do anything with a tube of lipstick is to
enter slut category. Until a few years ago, we didn't wax our limbs; not
because we believe in our feminist right to do what the hell we want with our
body hair, but because salons are the dens of the devil1.
Okay now she is taking words out of my
mouth! I think, as I scroll further, reading things eerily similar to ones I
have though, talk about, and made notes to write about. What an observant,
witty, honest and well written piece!
THAT BITCH.
Maybe because of my masochist
tendencies, and because I will never listen to my uncontainably wise best
friend’s advice that anyone better than yourself is to be hated on, and not try
to gain inspiration from, I read on. ‘Stop calling it “eve teasing”, you are
being molested’; ‘Becoming an asshole starts early’; ‘I CUT OFF MORE THAN MY HAIR’1….
You gotta be freaking kidding me here! Like the random-slices-of-life
domain isn’t already over-populated with (grudgingly) good bloggers blogging
their amusing lives away to popularity, she had to take over the little niche I
had painfully found for myself? Free style random observations on life with a
feministic lens. My tiny, harmless niche. And the bitch had to go ahead and be
all awesome at it. Restless Quill1, damn, even her blogger
name is cool.
I want to crawl into a hole and die.
Now in the familiar home zone of
wallowing in self loathing and pity, I trace back to find out which facebook
“friend” committed the atrocity of sharing this piece of horrible awesomeness.
Oh great, another feminist. With her own blog. Don’t these women have nothing
better to do?
